workout !

                vs      

because im sick of failing myself. ive been working out really hard and i think ive pushed myself out of comfort zone and i did see results but ive invested alot of time and effort and these results are not good enough !!! im just sick of feeling like crap !! im sick of not being able to fit into the clothes i want .. im sick of not being strong enough to do the things ive always wanted to do !!!

i gotta say, i had some obstacles and they are my knees injuries and my lower back pain chronic strain and these kinda made me not push it 100% when it came to lower body workouts but i just had it !!!

for the past couple of days, I've been thinking of starting p90x and actually STICKING TO IT till the end and today as i was giving it one last google search to see how much damage am i anticipating for my knees, i came across a thread that compared chalean extreme to p90x and it seems like its the girls p90x .. sadly, the results are not as good as p90x but i thought it could be a better option to start extreme intense workout .. chalean is fun and she does an amazing job in turbo abs but i kinda tried other videos and thought it was confusing .. but right now, i need to be firm with myself .. i need to choose one thing and actually STICK TO IT to the end whether it hurted me or injured me lol ...

and what i kinda liked about chalean extreme that its a 5 day work out and its around 30-45min max unlike p90x which is 6 day work out, each session 1-1.5hrs .. so chalean can be my main workout and i can add on it any other workout if i had the time/energy .. i can do tae bo, jogging on elliptical or even yoga/pilates ...

it sounds like a reasonable start and im less intimidated by her .. both are 90 days, i gotta make sure that its something do-able, likeable and manageable in terms of equipment and time or i wont be able to stick to it ...

so i took measurements, weight and before-workout pictures and guess will find out if its a good workout or not by 28/5/2013 and if i wasnt happy with the results, i can move on to p90x and do 3months of that and hopefully by 28/8/2013 ill get to have my bikini body and it will still be summer :P

actually, my aim is not bikini body at all .. my aim is to be lean , light and strong enough to do this:

believe it or not! im working out for this ... shedding this fat is the beginning of my yoga involvement . i want to be light enough to do all these crazy flexible yoga poses and im sure it will be so difficult wuth all that heavy fat dangling around .

i mean, i look at those amazing transformation pictures .. people who are WAAAAAY fatter than me, waaay older .. and probably have a busier life ... if they could that , why cant i ???

look at her .. her old body seems like mine .. disgusting .. and look at her now ... ID NEVER DREAMT THAT I COULD EVER HAVE SIX PACKS !! i thought its impossible !! she looks so freakin hot now !!!

wa3lia !! this one got it worse !!! 274 lbs !!! to this very lean body !!!  should be ashamed of myself wallah

they all started waaay fatter than me and now they look STUNNING !!!!

now she's my favourite ! i got her picture on my fridge .. she has the body that i want .. absolutely perfect .. not too muscular and not too curvy !! i got my eyes on her body and if she could do it .. hell i could !!!!

i hope i wont stop or end up having to stop due to my knee injury !!! i really want this weight loss/fitness journey to end .. it hs been 10 yrs .. ive wasted my life away ...