hectic life

so i have started working, like somehow official and its been hectic like hell .. before i come home, they told me working hours in canada are from 8am till 5pm but ive been going to work from 9am till 7pm and its been super busy and super crazy !! thing is, after work, u kinda drag yourself back home, u try to eat and maybe de-clutter a bit or watch something and then its suddenly 11pm and you just cant keep your eyes open .. its been a week since ive started workin and i havent studied a bit and its scarying me actually!! because this is not kuwait anymore, in canada, u are a REAL DOCTOR and you have to figure out how to manage the patients .. its really scary, i really need to find a way to study :( so far so bad lol , i mean, there were days when i couldnt see all my assigned patients, there were days when i ws kicked out, there were days when i was very much intimidated by the patients and their relatives because they know so much when it comes to medical knowledge and you feel as if you are being tested .. but the biggest shock is, ive been seeing the wrong patient for 3 days !! IMAGINE !! ive been following this pt, i got the file right but ive been examining the wrong one .. IMAGINE !! 3 days !!! i really dont know how i could recover from that lol so yeah, im doing one week of psychiatry right now .. its a branch of psychiatry called consultation liason psychiatry. its the branch that connects medicine to psychiatry .. so basically we see medically ill patients who has mental illness .. most of our patients are chronically sick, end stage diseases, cancer, non treatable diseases who ended up with mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or even schizophrenia .. ive always been interested in that field but now that im doing it, its kinda depressing ..most of the patients are dieing or really sick ... but anyway i dont wanna judge yet .. so yeah next week, ill start my medical training, NOW THATS SCARY !! true that ive been on my own in psych but i could never kill the patient. in medicine, ill be on my own and i COULD KILL the patient :s the system here in canada is SO DIFFERENT !! first of all, their hospitals are HUGE !! and it has alot of sub-specialties ..alot of impressive branches like memory clinic , smoking clinic , tropical diseases ... etc .. the wards are packed up with different people .. not only nurses and doctors but you also have social worker, psychologist , nurse practitioners ( i think a nurse whos almost a doctor ) , an advanced kind of pharmacists ( pharmcist who is almost a dr ) , physiotherapists, dietitians , sitters , spiritual guidance ... like lots n lots of different people doing different jobs .. its CRAZY !! everything is so complex .. even talking to the patients has its own rules.. like you are not allowed to ask about certain things and you are not allowed to share the patients info with any of his family or even other drs ... its INSANE !! like i said, everything here is so complicated :S alot of people would say its organized but if you ask me, i just think it could be simpler .. for the patients sake :S and yes its so busy that i cant even eat during work ... and i end up having only 2 meals a day, breakfast and dinner so definitely i should be losing wieght without working out .. but that makes me sad because i really wanna work out ..