ewing sarcoma

so this is my 3rd on call and they've been pampering me and i know i should be happy that i get to sleep everynight unlike the rest of the residents but I WANT TO LEARN!! I WANT TO WORK@@ because once, i become officially a resident, ill be making the calls here ! ill be responsible and thats freaky :( i thought this call will be different because usually we are 3 from the same team, our senior who destributes the cases, M who's a medical student and me .. and my senior is really pampering me and making the medical student do all the work and tonight, he's not here, he took today off so i thought thats my chance to be worked out but guess what? ITS A QUIET NIGHT!! i know i shouldnt be complaining and i should be happy that there is no work and stuff but i really wanna learn !! anyway i did get a case though and its such a heart breaking one .. its a young guy who got cancer in his bone when he was 18, it was in his spine so he was paralyzed for 2yrs untill he finished his chemotherapy and stuff and he thought he was cured. we did a scan on him and found out that the cancer has spread to his sacrum ( hip bone ) and lungs .. basically.. he's terminal .. when you get cancer, thats bad news and it means chemo or radiation and all these aweful therapies but when your cancer gets spread out, thats like game over. they dont even bother giving you cancer treatment and they will treat you symptomatically .. as in giving you pain medicine and stuff and not actual cancer treatment .. that made me so sad .. the guy is so funny and pleasant .. he had high spirit and stuff .. he was telling me how his hockey team lost the tournement and how he's sure that by next year, they'll get it .. he didnt know that he might not be here next year and that his family will have to watch him die slowly :( i really felt bad .. we really do take life for granted .. look at him .. he never saw that coming .. he got cancer when he was 18 and he'll be dead when he's 21 .. wow .. can you imagine that? sigh .. allah ye9aber ahalha o yeshafee