when home means pain..

in less than 3 weeks, ill be home and god you have no idea how much i missed my family and how bad i wanted to go home until lately ...
it seems that this vacation has come at the wrongest time .. ive been feeling really stressed lately because alot is happening right now ..
so my apartment lease is about to expire and the agent has asked me if i wanted to renew the lease or not.. im supposed to leave my apartment by may 1st but i cant seem to find a good replacement .. i love this apartment so much that im so afraid of giving it up .. but i need a bigger place, pet friendly and a place where i can furnish it the way i want ( i live in a furnished apartment ) but im in love with my view and the amount of sunshine that comes into my place and this is rare in downtown due to all these high buildings around .. so the agent been calling me and nagging on me to make a decision, i need to let him know by monday if im leaving or not and so far, ive seen a couple of other apartment but none is as good as mine so this has been stressful to me.
the other issue is my visa issue .. i still have no visa and if i leave canada, i wont be able to come back .. i was asked to mail my passport earlier this month to issue the visa but i didn't, i was so scared that it will take a long time ( average is 4 weeks ) and then i wont be able to go home because im passport-less now .. so im taking a risk here and gambling by doing it when i go back to kuwait .. usually it takes 14 days .. so the moment i land into kuwait, ill mail my passport thru fedex in the airport and hopefully get it back before my vacation ends ( will be tricky since im only staying in kuwait for 12 days ) .. i heard stories about people who ended up being stuck in their country for MONTHS .. due to visa issues :s ..
thing is, when i come back with my new visa, i still have a couple of issues to manage too.. alot of places need a copy of my new visa so i might not be able to resume work until i update them with my new visa .
speaking of vacation, i havent submitted my vacation request yet . ive contacted the dr responsible and she hasnt replied yet .. what the hell am i supposed to do? ive already booked my ticket anyway.
and then theres the wedding which is really stressing me out .. i cant seem to find a decent dress here and i dont know if ill be able to find a dress in kuwait, ill arrive on 30th of march and the wedding is on 4th of april .. i got only 3 days to shop .. that sounds really risky.. and im so frustrated by the fact that i havent lost weight or toned my body for the wedding ..
add to that that im currently PMSing lol .. damn, i really noticed that i can get really emotional and easily irritated when im PMSing .. i mean, i don't memorise my period dates so yesterday i noticed that i was extremely emotional and irritated and i felt that i was really being dramatic so i wondered if im PMSing and  took a look at my period app and it turns out that im pmsing INDEED lol
and my old drama still continues .. and we are getting tangled even more  and its getting more and more complicated everyday and its making me not wanna go home ...
im dreading going home .. im dreading going back to find emptiness where my world used to be . ive made plans to keep myself extremely busy and occupied with other stuff but i know that these memorise will hunt me and eventually get me ...

yeah .. going home right now does not seem like the best decision with all of this going on right now ..