Review; Fresh

review of fresh: vegan restaurant in toronto is now on my tumblr

when home means pain..

in less than 3 weeks, ill be home and god you have no idea how much i missed my family and how bad i wanted to go home until lately ...
it seems that this vacation has come at the wrongest time .. ive been feeling really stressed lately because alot is happening right now ..
so my apartment lease is about to expire and the agent has asked me if i wanted to renew the lease or not.. im supposed to leave my apartment by may 1st but i cant seem to find a good replacement .. i love this apartment so much that im so afraid of giving it up .. but i need a bigger place, pet friendly and a place where i can furnish it the way i want ( i live in a furnished apartment ) but im in love with my view and the amount of sunshine that comes into my place and this is rare in downtown due to all these high buildings around .. so the agent been calling me and nagging on me to make a decision, i need to let him know by monday if im leaving or not and so far, ive seen a couple of other apartment but none is as good as mine so this has been stressful to me.
the other issue is my visa issue .. i still have no visa and if i leave canada, i wont be able to come back .. i was asked to mail my passport earlier this month to issue the visa but i didn't, i was so scared that it will take a long time ( average is 4 weeks ) and then i wont be able to go home because im passport-less now .. so im taking a risk here and gambling by doing it when i go back to kuwait .. usually it takes 14 days .. so the moment i land into kuwait, ill mail my passport thru fedex in the airport and hopefully get it back before my vacation ends ( will be tricky since im only staying in kuwait for 12 days ) .. i heard stories about people who ended up being stuck in their country for MONTHS .. due to visa issues :s ..
thing is, when i come back with my new visa, i still have a couple of issues to manage too.. alot of places need a copy of my new visa so i might not be able to resume work until i update them with my new visa .
speaking of vacation, i havent submitted my vacation request yet . ive contacted the dr responsible and she hasnt replied yet .. what the hell am i supposed to do? ive already booked my ticket anyway.
and then theres the wedding which is really stressing me out .. i cant seem to find a decent dress here and i dont know if ill be able to find a dress in kuwait, ill arrive on 30th of march and the wedding is on 4th of april .. i got only 3 days to shop .. that sounds really risky.. and im so frustrated by the fact that i havent lost weight or toned my body for the wedding ..
add to that that im currently PMSing lol .. damn, i really noticed that i can get really emotional and easily irritated when im PMSing .. i mean, i don't memorise my period dates so yesterday i noticed that i was extremely emotional and irritated and i felt that i was really being dramatic so i wondered if im PMSing and  took a look at my period app and it turns out that im pmsing INDEED lol
and my old drama still continues .. and we are getting tangled even more  and its getting more and more complicated everyday and its making me not wanna go home ...
im dreading going home .. im dreading going back to find emptiness where my world used to be . ive made plans to keep myself extremely busy and occupied with other stuff but i know that these memorise will hunt me and eventually get me ...

yeah .. going home right now does not seem like the best decision with all of this going on right now ..

eating clean .

wow the concept of eating clean has started to blow my mind .. i never thought *i* would fall into that but i did lol .. i dont know if i feel healthier, lighter, skinner or even more energetic like everyone else who is eating clean but I'm definitely excited about cooking clean lol .. i love how creative clean eating is, how they replace ingredients with healthier ones .. ITS AMAZING ! maybe thats why im so interested in it .. for the cooking part rather than the health aspect lol...
so ive made alot of discoveries , recipe-wise, lol and id say my favourite one is KALE CHIPS .. i feel EXTREMELY SORRY for those who are not familiar with kale chips or never tried em .. oh my god .. its heaven's sent .. ITS SO DAMN GOOD .. yet healthy !! im not even a fan of chips in general and to me, kale chips is DESSERTS!! if i wanted to spoil myself, i make me kale chips.. they are THAT GOOD !!

so ive been experimenting alot and i realised whats even cooler than clean eating is VEGAN FOOD !! there s SOOO MUCH CREATIVITY in it .. like .. SO MUCH !! no im not turning vegan or vegetarian but my diet has been mainly vegetarian lately because of all the new cool recipes that i found lol .. plus its way easier , quicker and less fattening .. so ive been cooking alot lately .. today, i worked with quinoa. i surprised myself with the dessert ..ive always read about desserts made of whey protien but never really thought about doing em because whey protien was NOT made to be part of desserts .. so ive always dismissed these recipes .. but today, i was feeling crappy and i know myself .. when im crappy, i eat .. i eat ALOT .. and i know that eventually, ill be hunting for something sweet and i didnt want to reach for that dark chocolate bar that ive hid ( from myself ) so i decided to make something healthier .. so i made .. PROTIEN PUDDING !! and gues what! IT TASTED SOOOOO GOOD !!! i used my peanut butter chocolate whey protein with almond milk ( i stopped drinking regular milk due to my lactose intolerance ) and added a spoon of peanut butter ( can never have enough of peanut butter ) with gelatin and oh.. my .. god .. it tasted like any other chocolate pudding from grocery stores ONLY HEALTHIER .. it had up to 32g of protiens ( vs 38g in 8oz steak ) and 1g of sugar !!!!! could it even be better than this?

its been amazing cooking day .. im really thinking about getting a degree in cooking .. maybe join culinary school part time since i really enjoy cooking .. and then i wouldnt have to eat a lot. because the more i cook here, the more i eat and i dont want that .. but if i was in class, ill prolly have the option not to eat the food i cooked lol

anyway, ive also made a tumblr ( you can shoot me now ) for my food pictures .. i know alot of people been complaining about how my life revolves around food and its been getting on my nerves so i decided to make a tumblr and just post my food adventures there .. ill try to post recipes there too so i can use this as a online source for my recipes

healthomania.tumblr.com

working out

so this is the 3rd month of this year and i think ive made a great improvement when it comes to working out. i remember starting with building a habit and i think the habit has been built already :) .. i wake up around 5:30-6 everyday with no complains or 3asra .. i have no issues getting off bed knowing that im doing that to workout, even if its legs day which i hate .. its amazing wallah .. it feels like ive tamed myself lol .. i remember having hard time waking up for class or work but with workingout, its waay easier and less painful .. even if its cold .. even if its dark .. even if i feel like i havent had enough sleep .. id still get up and workout and yawn like 75% during the workout lol but im loving it .. i love my commitment .. im not 100% enjoying it lol .. and I'm not really getting impressive results but i think making working out as part of my daily activities is a success in a way .. and results SHOULD COME .. i mean it makes sense right .. whether i workout for 1 month, 1 yr or even 10yrs, results SHOULD come one day coz its only logical

getting old ..

i feel so old .. i know i AM getting older in a couple of days but thats not what i meant .. my body is starting to fail me.. first my knees which i screwed by doing daily 100 jumping ropes and climbing stairs when i weighted 85kg .. i remember the day i busted em .. i couldnt bend them .. i think i was actually playing dance dance revolution when i heard em crack the first time .. now my back is killing me .. it used to be bad but then it went away and now my back pain is back with vengeance .. so ive been doing some physiotherapy for my knees and my physiotherapist told me that my knees pain is caused by WEAK MUSCLES in my thighs esp inner thighs .. which you could totally tell if you look at my thighs lol ( TIME TO DO MORE SQUATS :( ) .. anyway .. so i went to see my PT and i told her that my back is killing me so she took a look at it and guess what? my back is caused by my HYPERFLEXIBILITY .. lol . ive been told that my joints are hyper flexible but seriously? my back too ? so it seems that my spinal vertebrae are so flexible that they can bend all the way instead of remaining stable in their place so my lower back ends up taking all the pressure .. im not even sure i explained it well here lol but yeah anyway, im hyper flexible ..

you know what that means? yeah yeah life long back pain .. but also .. i could do the things ive always wnated to do .. i could bend like there is no tomorrow :D

maybe i should ask my physiotherapist first lol .. what if i bend too much and crack my back even more? dude im already a walking 3aha, i dont think i can afford more disabilities .. i am already half deaf, wearing glasses, memory brain cells are fried, knees issue and now back pain .. no more :S

al7madallah 3ala kel 7al :)

Failure

So i failed..
I failed making you feel loved enough,
I failed keeping you mine,
I failed keeping you part of my life,
I failed fixing it,
I failed fixing us,
I failed fixing me,
I failed getting over it,
I failed getting over you,
I failed getting over us,
And i failed letting go,
I failed moving on,
I failed " live and let live ",
I failed finding myself again,
I failed getting over my need for you,
I failed getting stronger enough to be kn my own,
I failed reaching soberty
Because i never made it through the withdrawal,
Honestly speaking, never even stopped being intoxicated.
I failed you as a lover,
I failed you as a friend,
I failed keeping my promises,
I failed being the person i " wanted to be " and do the things " i really wanted to do "
I failed taking my pain away,
I failed taking your pain away , that if i havnt made it worse.
I failed love, i failed friendship
Everything about this reminds me of how much of a " failure " i am and i just cabt stand it anymore.
However, the truth is, not only i have failed, you did too.
For the sake of whatever is left of this, let us not fail to make a wise decision and let go. You said it before but i refused to believe it, i didnt want to believe it, but you were right. This isnt going to work anymore.
You might be hating me right now, you might be so hurt right now and you may not believe me, but i only did this because i loved you too much to see you suffer.
So i let go,
I let you live,
Let you enjoy the life you chose with the ones you chose to love,
This isnt right and we both know it,
And im comfortable letting you now that you said you are being taken care of and you got people who make you feel safe and make sure you are well and happy.
Therez nothing left for me to offer,
My existence is not needed, atleast not in your world.
So move on, chase your dreams and fight for what you believe in and remember, magic happens when you believe.
May this be the end of your suffering and the beginning of a new pain/drama free chapter in your life.
You are loved. Never forget that.

burpees

so i joined this fa9la fitness support group where they post daily crazy workouts ..
one of the most workout was 100 burpees .. lol i know, i can barely do one .. its 10 burpees of 10 different variations and the host is NUTS !! LOL wallah 7abeeteha.. o 3ashanha, im gonna give it a try lol. aham shay, she is gonna die

http://www.youtube.com/watch?hl=en&gl=CA&client=mv-google&v=QBjSL8zNVjQ&nomobile=1

lol , check on me later on, see if im still alive :P

New itunes

NEW ITUNES IS CRAP!!! DONT UPGRADE YOURS!!!! Ive upgraded mine to itunes 11 and since then, its refusing to recognize my iphone and i cant sync my device anymore whether through a cable or thru wifi!!!! IM SO ANGRY!!!
I spent an HOUR trying to fix it and i couldnt!!!!! Now im late to work and my problem isnt solved!!! GOD IM ANGRY!!!!

sunset workout

finally my ER rotation is over and boy im so excited that i could finally have my routine back. believe ir or not but i did miss 5 AM workout. its such a great way to start your day and i love getting rid of the working out part as early as possible lol, it gives me a peace of mind throughout the day coz i spend atleast 1.5hrs working out so yeah,

yep, ive been abit indecisive when it comes to my choice of workout .. i guess its the impatient part of me wanting to rush the results .. ive changed my routine maybe 5 times within the past 2 months .. i wanted something quick and effective for the wedding .. but i kinda gave up now .. there is no such a total body transformation in such a short period ... so im trying to control my impatience and for once stick to a routine and finish it.. i thought having support will help me through so i decided to use a program where alot of people are doing .. so yeah that was p90x .. but then i freaked out and decided to start with chalean xtreme which i did a couple of times and have NOT found it to be challenging !! ( there is no way that im that strong lol, i bet im doing it right ) and since im so desperate for a change, i decided to include turbo fire too .. yep.. i cant believe it but im giving it another chance .. the reason is, i talked to a girl who told me she burns a minimum of 500 calories in 30min workout of TF !! THATS INSANE !!! I WANT THAT !! i know the choreography is going to be challenging and ill have to take it SLOWER and break the moves to my own pace till i get the routine right but if thats what it takes to burn 500 cal in 30 min then be it !!!

so today was my second day of the hybrid and im getting impatient already lol .. day one was 40min stretching .. SERIOUSLY .. 40MIN !!! .. why stretch when you havent even started :s .. im guilty for not taking it seriously!! i was eager to get my heart pumping and get sweaty like abrar .. i wanna feel my body getting sore .. i wanna scream in pain .. coz thats when the changes happen .. but no, i did 40min of slow sloooow slooow stretches ... i was like may5alif.. first day, lets take her 3ala qad 3aql2a and stretch ... 

so i went to bed yesterday at 1am and got up at 5:30 am, all excited about working out hard and burning calories and stuff ... and today's workout called abs burner and recharge .. abs burner is an abs workout from chalean extreme but gotta confess, it wasnt as painful as abs 10 in turbo fire .. i have expected alot more from chalean EXTREME ... and then i had no idea what recharge is so i was excited and guess what .. ANOTHER DAMN STRETCH .. 20min of sloooooooow stretching !! blaaah *mumbles* .. no no.. im not quitting yet but i think ill be adding my own thing .. i woke up at 5.30 and i was done by 6:15 :S .. i got like 3 more hours to go .. i didnt wake up for this .. so i think im gonna hit the elliptical for some HIIT training and maybe pump some iron if i had the time .. i know im not supposed to screw the routine but hey, if i get time an energy .. why not right ?