black or white thinking

once upon a time , i was a perfectionist .. well i still am but im getting better everyday ..
i guess what im still struggling with the most is the black or white thinking, all or nothing and it can drive me nuts sometimes ...
for example, ive started a new training program, ive started it 2 weeks ago but i keep restarting it everyday i screw the diet or miss the workout and now its really getting out of control .. although ive done lke 75% of it but the fact that i screwed up some days made me thing that it was not good enough and i restarted the whole thing .. but thats not the issue, what i noticed is that most of my week became cheat days .. every time i screw a meal or miss a workout, automatically, the day turns to a cheat day and i end up feeding myself to sickness .. not only that, but i even noticed that my cheat days are crazy, i end up eating like a 3 different sandwiches , 2 dfferent salads and 3 different fruits for a meal and ive always felt out of control and couldnt stop myself although i knew that this was too much .. and today i came to realize why this has been happening ..
going on a strict diet where there is no variety in food, no flexibility at all made me go crazy everytime i have an off day .. there's just too much that ive been craving and wanting but couldnt have during the week and im not talking about desserts and crappy food .. im talking about bananas .. apples .. cereal .. or even a cheese sandwich so whenever i have my day off, i try to cram it all in to satisfy my craving but i end up feeling all sick and i dont get to enjoy my cravings ..
i think its time to let go of all these strict rules and diets .. ill still stick to the big frame of 5 meals with major focus on proteins but if i ever crave an apple, ill allow myself to have one .. and if i ever craved something unhealthy, ill create a healthier version and eat it .. i am starting to an aversive reaction towards food and im starting to connect food to pain now and this is really unhealthy