Sunday, December 1, 2013

documentary: we were children






we were children is a documentary made recently and discussed residential schools in canada. there is a very ugly part of canadian history and that is residential schools and the way they treated aboriginal people. when the white people came to canada, they took over the land and killed lots of aboriginal people. aboriginal, red indians, native americans or first nations, these are different labels for the true owner of north america. i thought americans were the evil ones but it turned out that canadian history is as dark and as cruel as the american history.

the native americans were called the savages .. they took over their land and they gave them a small piece of land in the middle of no where and those are the '' reserves ''. away from civilisation, away from major source of electricity and water, aboriginal lived a very hard life in those reserves.


these reserves are the ones in brown, most of them located in the cold part of canada were mothet nature is brutal and life is not easy at all. these reserves are so remote that you need a plane and prolly 3-6 hrs drive to go to these places .. and since they are remote and cold, they import most pf their prducts thus its extremely expensive 


this is sold for 4-6 dollars in any canadian city while its sold of almost 13 dollars in these reserves cz its imported !! not only food is expensive, but jobs are not available there .. they live in slums and they got no services .. my program sends residents there for couple of days to offer medical services .. doctors need to fly into these places to help those people .. this is how the natives, the aboriginal people are treated in canada now days .. but their past is even darker and sadder .
their kids had to go to whats called '' residential schools '':

from wikipedia:
The Indian residential schools of Canada were a network of "residential" (boarding) schools for Aboriginal peoples of Canada (First Nations ["Indians"], Metis, and Inuit [formerly "Eskimos"]) funded by the Canadian government's Department of Indian Affairs, and administered by Christian churches, most notably the Catholic Church in Canada and the Anglican Church of Canada. The system had origins in pre-Confederation times, but was primarily active following the passage of the Indian Act in 1876, until the mid-twentieth century. An amendment to the Indian Act in 1884 made attendance at a day, industrial or residential school compulsory for First Nations children and, in some parts of the country, residential schools were the only option.[1] The number of residential schools reached 80 in 1931 but decreased in the years that followed. The last federally operated residential school was closed in 1996. In total, about 150,000 First Nations children passed through the residential school system.[2]  consensus emerged in the early twenty-first century that the latter schools did significant harm to Aboriginal children who attended them by removing them from their familiesdepriving them of their ancestral languages, exposing many of them to physical and sexual abuse at the hands of staff and other students, and later enfranchising them forcibly. This consensus was symbolized by the June 11, 2008 public apology offered, not only by Prime Minister Stephen Harper on behalf of the Government of Canada, but also by the leaders of all the other parties in the Canadian House of Commons

that documentary discussed 2 true stores of survival of residential schools. it showed how they were forced to go to these boarding schools at such young age, they were forced to speak english and forced to convert to christianity. these kids were taken away from their families and alot of them never saw their families until they graduated. the documentary showed how, although these schools were managed by priests and nuns, but alot of these kids were physically and SEXUALLY abused by them. it was such a heart breaking documentary to be watched. 

most of the aboriginal nowdays are homeless, jobless and alot of them are on drugs. i met one aboriginal guy at the emergency room once and he said that he doesnt recall being breastfed but he recalls growing up snorting cocaine.  alot of them are doing drugs as a way of self medicating . most of them were traumatised and they drink or do drugs to forget about their past.  it is a very sad reality .
to have your land being taken away from you, to be punished for speaking your own language and to be forced to believe what others want you to believe and then to be thrown away to face this life with no support .. what kind of a life is that ...

i definitely recommend this documentary so you can see how cruel humans can be.




Thursday, November 7, 2013

To belong

What drives you? Passion? Anger? Fear?
Being in one of the world's busiest subway system in a rush hour made me realize something. 
It was around 5pm in one of new york city subways.. It was literally packed and we were on the subway for atleast an hour! So many people jumped in and out! Ppl from different ethnic backgrounds and ages.
What caught my attention was a young black guy, prolly in his mid 20's, wearing a hoodie covering his head, headphones on and had alot of those rubberbands around his wrist, like the live strong ones..
Another guy that got my attention was prolly some one a bit older, wearing a black hoodie, a baseball cap and he had a tattoo all over his body..
Little things that we take for granted when we look at others.. Accessories.. Outfits and even attitudes that ppl adapt in order to be accepted by others.. I think the fear and pain of being alone is one of the biggest drives.
Everyone wants to belong to some one or somewhere.. People do crazy stuff in order to impress others to be accepted. People work their life off in order to make a certain income to belong to a certain social group. People try to live by the rules of the community to avoid being shun. 
People change in order to be accepted by others. We cant deny our need for belonging and our fear of being alone. I bet all of us had to go through amd endure things in order to belong somewhere .
I personally had to rip my own skin off me and became something that ive always feared n resented in order to be accepted. broke every single rule n principle of mine because i was so afraid of being alone. Ive became something that i'm not, only to belong to some one/something/somewhere..

Everyone is afraid of being stranded and lonely..  
What have you given away or endured to avoid being alone n to belong to something?

T.O vs NYC


Toronto vs NYC!
Toronto might not be as exciting as NYC but its definitely MORE DECENT!! Canada feels like the good polite lil boy while NYC felt like the bad ass homeless boy. Lets do a lil comparison here!

Torontonions are known to be very busy and not friendly but comparing to NYC, omg torontion are extremely friendly lol! Ppl in NYC were pushing us around n rarely seen smiling. In Toronto, ppl do smile and greet you and definitely people are waay more helpful. They would offer to help carrying your heavy stuff and would always offer to help you with directions if you seemed lost

Toronto is so clean with recycling trash bins everywhere as the standard trashbin. The subway system is less complicated and definitely bigger subway cars and more colorful. There are designated areas for elderly, pregnant ladies and handicaps and ppl do respect that. The subways in NYC were really really dirty, not handicaps friendly and the subway cars had less seating areas.

Immigrants. Both cities were multicultural thats for sure. You'll be striked by the number of asians in toronto the same way latinos in NYC will strike you. There were lots of indians and african americans in NY while the majority of dark skinned people in toronto are Ethiopian or Somalians. Definitely toronto feels safer! Ppl are well dressed and presenting well. In NYC, you can see misery and evidence of their struggle on ppl's faces! Its so clear that it breaks your heart!  

Islam, while you see a "halal" shawrma/gyros cart at EVERY corner in NYC, ive rarely seen ladies with hijab! Definitely met alot of Egyptians working there but hijab in manhattan was rarely seen unlike in Toronto! 

I dont know, NYC made me feel miserable! It was hard for me not to notice the struggle of new yorkers and ignore the huge difference of standards of living of the tourists vs the locals! Knowing that and knowing how USA doesnt offer as much services as Canada including health coverages made it hard for me to enjoy it!
Also if you are not into shows, shops and dinning then new york is not your thang!

After this experience, im getting the sense that ill prolly feel the same way about Las Vegas...
Lets hope LA wont disappoint me too.

Its funny how now im having more and more appreciation for living in canada.

P.s: i dont dare to say NYC sucks or boring because im sure that 75% of the world disagree with me. Im just saying that its not my thing :)

New york: last days

ISo we spent the last two days shopping! Well my sister decided so! She has a point, people shop in New York since it has alot of outlets. So we went to a mall in New Jersey and my sister shopped till she was broke and came to me asking for money! I dont understand creatures like her :/. If you cant afford it then DONT BUY IT! She insisted that it was such a good deal blah blah blah! 



At night, we headed to see a broadway show and we ended up seeing the LION KING! Well, dont kill me but i was not impressed lol!  Maybe because i knew the story and maybe because i saw different versions of the lion king musical? Dont get me wrong, i got nothing against musicals, i enjoyed the wizard of Oz when it was in TO but i guess i was expecting more of a lion king show and a show being played in broadway .. Or maybe thats just me!

I mean, i get bored easily, mystery excites me n if i knew the story and seen it done similarly, it will kill the mystery if you know what i mean.


Anyway our last day was spent in Central park! We biked it all and it was almost 9km according to the guy n it took us 2hrs! It is such a beautiful park! It had fall colors all over but it was pretty busy *pouts* 





Im really starting to see that toronto tried so hard to imitate NYC lol! Central park feels like high park! The only difference is that in high park, there sre some hiking trails! 

And we ended up spending the rest of the day souvenirs shopping!

At the end while we were dragging our bags to the subway, the door keeper at the hotel told us to be careful on the subway! He said that there are alot of theft and assaults on busy subways in daylight! Ppl dont care whos around n what time and would assault you if you looked like u got money! He said he would rather pay 80$ for a cab than go on a subway because its dangerous lol!

He really got us but then we were running late and it was rush hour and we knew that a cab will be stuck in traffic for hours so we took the risk! 

Omg! NYC subways are the worst if you are carrying luggage!! Escalators / elevators are not available in every station and theres alot of stairs and the subway is so busy and ppl will rush you while you are trying to carry down your heavy bag down a hundred step :/  my sister as usual has overshopped and her bag was oversized and she was struggling to carry it up n down the stairs! I couldnt leave my bag unattended to help carrying hers so we were in such a ma95ara situation lol!!  La walah at that moment, i felt like cryin coz our bags were heavy n there were too many steps in that narrow stairs n ppl were pushing us around since it was rush hour lol! NYC AINT FRIENDLY AT ALL I TELL U!!

Monday, November 4, 2013

New york - day 3


So we decided to see the rest of new york today .. Or so i thought, my sister had another agenda! 
We started by taking the subway all the way to brooklyn to check brooklyn heights n walked across brooklyn bridge! Then we walked around starting with china town, all the wY through little italy to SoHo! 


Chinatown and lil italy felt like the ones we have in toronto only bigger and busier! I had busy places, its hard for you to stop to look around when you know that theres a long que of people behind you and that by stopping, you could be blocking the way.
We stopped at cafe habana and had grilled mexican corn n it was quite an experience! It was covered with cheese, lime and chili ! Definitely worth getting lost in the streets of lil italy lol.


My sister has a different agenda, she stopped at every boutique and bought her stuff n made me carry em in my pack bag! I was angry most of the day because i didnt come here to shop but also coz it was cold n i couldnt hang outside the shop while she shops since it was that cold! I literally wore everything i had: tshirt, warmshirt, hoodie and a jacket n i was still shaking! 
I dont want to sound grumpy but im still not impressed n i can see why, its my sister's company and all that shopping and the fact that its not green n stuff!
I can see how canada surpasses USA. Not only for their health system but canada is waaay more environment- friendly. Ive rarely seen recycling bins in the streets and most of their streets are dirty. 
I cant say americans coz prolly most of the ppl here are tourists but they are not as polite as Canadians! Ppl push you around and dont apologize, no one stops around to help you with directions when you look lost and no one holds the door for you here :/
Ya 7elo el Canadians wallah! Im starting to really appreciate being in canada and im starting to feel grateful for being accepted here rather in the states.
There is so much that you can learn from them :)


Sunday, November 3, 2013

New york




The big apple! The center of the world! The bad ass city 
Maybe
But definitely not my cup of tea
NYC felt like Toronto only bigger, dirtier , busier and definitely out of control.
We spent the first day walking aroubd exploring the city.
Times square was soo crowded and walking around was hard! It felt like hajj to me! Didnt likr the idea of being squeezed within the crowds or not being able to browse the stores because of the crowds! Hated the waiting list in every restuarant in times square and definitely my major turn off was the unfriendliness of peopls here N how everyone is rushing around.
I knew from the start that i wont like it but i thought id give it a chance
I can see why alot of people might like it but definitely not my thing
If living in toronto made me depressed then definitely ill commit suicide if i had to move to NYC.
I loved how you dont pay tax if your purchases are below 110 dollars 

Highlights of day 1 :
Times square : overrated


Wholefood's in NYC: GIGANTIC AND IMPRESSIVE. Loved it
Finally!! Tried chobani!!! It is really yummy!! I dont know why they stopped importing it into canada


Trader Joe's: finally been to one. Absolutely loved the variety n the healthy options of its product! I wish we had TJ in Canada!! *thumbs up*

Highlights of day 2:
Walked around the city.
Been to grand central station who felt like union station in TO only bigger
Walked around 5th avenue . so a street full of high end stores n brands! Whata the big deal? 
Macy's: it was my sister"s idea! Just another department store
Junior's cheese cake: a nice cheese cake store with so many variation! Their cheese cake felt as good as the cheese cake factory if u thought cheese cake factor is good.
Although ive been eating clean n made a commitment not to ruin it but i did n so far, i regret it! Nothing wow-ish here lol! Again, maybe coz we have similar dinning experience in to?
Never the less, i did try most of what people recommended but i wasnt impressed lol
I had the street food/ halal kart food! I had falafal n gyros from the halal guys n it was absolutely disgusting!! The sandwich was filled with mayo that it made me wanna puke after a few bites! Maybe because im not a big fan of mayo? But i was disappointed but i dont regret the experience! These karts are as common as starbucks in NYC so we had to try it
However, i did enjoy something! Its the portobello empanadas from nuchas food cart at times square! It was pricey! 3 dollars for a mini empanadas but they were REALLY good!! Loved em!!!

By the 2nd day, i was still not impressed by NYC! Maybe because i live in a busy city too, toronto is bot as busy as NYC but its still busier than alot of cities with skyscrapers and stuff or maybe because ive never been a fan of busy cities and stuff.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

me


Hello,





this is where i retire at night. i wrap myself up and shut the world off. its funny how big my bed is, yet im always sleeping on my side .. i think i need to invest more time in this place ..
can you see that little world map next to my bed? this is my dream up there ..







this is my kingdom . i love how sunny this place can be with all the high windows .. sadly winter is coming so less sunshine and probably this place will turn into an ice cube . can you see that paige sofa? this is where i sleep on the weekends. not because its super comfty but also because it reminds me of home for some reason. so everytime im home sick, i end up sleeping there ..






this is where i have my daily battle .. my thoughts seem to get out of control everytime im sitting on this table. my brain cells will do anything but study. atleast i try,and you can see the evidence of my failed attempts.






this is baby K, a very special gift from a special person. this is the beginning of a great adventure and an athletic life.







this is my playground. this is where i spent most of my time if i was home. food and cooking is such a passion for me. curently, im focusing on creating healthy clean food.





this is my view. its a beautiful west view of the city




more like 1 million dollar view, dont u think so :). you can see the CN tower at the back 






i got another view of the valley .. too bad that its a bad picture, you couldve seen the leaf changes there 









this is where i live. such a high fancy tower. too bad, people here are not so friendly. this is my place for now, im planning to move out in may .. yes AGAIN. 







this is my neighbourhood/ fereej .. not the best place ever. i got a shelter next door, a strip club and a marijuina store around the corner . hmmmm








my most likely way of transport .




 thats a little map on top of the door, of all the destination that you can go to by the subway.










so this is me .. and this is my life ..