ive been in this dark place way too long ...
ive been feeling like a mess .. ive been too impulsive, cant control my anger and been so insecure. im trying to recall when is the last time ive felt okay ... i think that was 3 yrs ago .. when i was still in med school .. my only explanation is, that i was too busy to think about anything else but my studies .. after graduation, i thought its time to take care of myself and i guess thats when hell broke loose .. i think i took it too seriously that i started finding defects in every aspect of my life .. and then came the obsession of being perfect ...
then i did psychiatry and started psychoanalyzing myself .. and finding disorders in my thinking ..
ahhhhhh *bangs head on keyboard *
i need to step back, take life less seriously.. loosen up more .. bring back the old carefree person in me ..
the keyword is: CARE FREE .. sob7an allah .. it seems so easy and simple .. i mean, whats easier than NOT CARING AT ALL .. yet to me, it seems so hard and almost impossible :s
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